- Focus on one thing at a time
- Don't leave a trail, pick up after yourself
- Awareness (how can I improve this situation or what needs to be said or done here?)
- Breathe and create space before responding
Already ten days into the month and I feel woefully behind. Early on in the month, I decided to add another goal that was actually measurable and that is to re-read Eckhart Tolle's, The Power of Now.
I used to be extremely efficient at focusing on one thing at a time...and then social media came along. I love being able to connect 24 hours a day with the people I love. I love knowing what is going on in the lives of my friends and family. I have been hopelessly addicted to Facebook for a couple of years now. It allows me the opportunity to see pictures of all the great events of the people I care about. I find out about run events and upcoming music and so much more. Maybe because I am crazy about it, I should give it up. I used to feel panic at that thought. I feel I have made progress because I can type that and remain calm. Two days ago, I became unable to upload pictures to my Facebook from my phone. I have no idea why. I can still post them from my computer. I can still post them on the the pages and groups that I am in from my phone but not to my personal timeline. I always wonder when things like that happen, if it is a sign...perhaps I should uninstall the app from my phone for awhile...(gasp)!
I really would be a better listener and I wouldn't have what feels like self induced ADHD if I weren't so distracted by Facebook, Twitter, incoming texts, etc.
Several years ago, I was sure that I was suffering from early alzheimers. I bought a book about memory. It turns out, that if you are not actually listening or paying attention, you will not remember past events. So for example, if I ask my husband what he wants for dinner but then read an email while he answers (thereby not listen); I will have no way to recall the information (his response) later. Well imagine that. I was relieved to know that what I didn't have was alzheimers...but what I actually had was bad listening skills. I am still working on this. Be patient with me.
Another one of my bad habits is to leave a trail behind me. You can tell where I have been and basically what I was doing. I literally will leave a trail. I come home and leave my shoes in the kitchen. I set my purse on the counter. I open mail and leave it where I read it. I drink a cup of coffee and leave the mug where I was. I play piano and leave my books out and the piano open. My husband has learned to accept this about me. Every night I go to bed and he stays up a couple of extra minutes. He neatly piles my "stuff" in a stack that he actually refers to as, "your stack". So I might say, "I can't find my work badge" and he will reply, "It's in your stack." He has given up I think. I haven't. I have to admit, I am offended though if he puts something in my stack that doesn't actually belong to me. I make sure to let him know what does not belong there. This month, I meant to be better and leave less of a trail but I must be honest, the progress I have made has been mostly through back tracking and cleaning up the trail before everything ended up in my stack. My true goal is to eliminate the trail altogether. Acknowledgement of the issue is the first step to the solution, right?
The third thing I want to be mindful of is bringing compassion and helpfulness to situations. This requires a nice deep breathe where I can create space to create a loving response. I will never be perfect at this but I know I only improve when I focus on it. I am always in such a hurry. I feel so much better when I make myself slow down and be present. Even time seems to move slower. I have been doing this more this month than in recent prior months (many months). I forgot how good it feels not to rush around. The book I am reading (The Power of Now) has always been a helpful reminder of this for me. As I write this, I recall another really good reference and that is, Slowing down to the speed of life by Richard Carlson & Joseph Bailey. Put that on my February reading list as well.
I really didn't realize how hard this mindfulness month was going to be. I will keep trying. I will keep reminding myself to be present in the beauty and joy of this moment. If my activity goes down or I disappear from Facebook, it is because I am busy paying attention.
