Reflections of 2015 and New Beginnings

My theme for 2015 was “Go Slow”.  I chose that theme because my life had become chaotic and rushed. I couldn’t remember what I did an hour ago much less yesterday. I was (and still very much am) squirrel prone. 

I work on self-improvement with a great group of women through a success club called, Aspire. In addition to my annual theme, I set two big goals; to successfully complete three college classes and to dedicate more time to piano. I tried to keep it simple.

The thing is, go slow didn’t really start to click until a couple of months ago.

Beginning in January, I started to make very small changes. I was bound and determined to ditch the type “A” personality for something a little less…frenzied. I made tiny changes such as, setting the alarm for 6:16am instead of 6:15am, leaving work in the middle of a task (gasp), scheduling extra time in between appointments and by saying no sometimes, even when I wanted to say yes.

Now, whenever I feel rushed, I take a deep breath and I say (out loud if possible), “I have time”. I create space with my words. Instead of I am tired, I am rushed, I am mad, I now say, I choose to be tired, I choose to be rushed, I choose to be mad. This immediately provides me the opportunity to create something different.

Within this new space, I was able to clearly see some relationship changes that needed to be made.  For example, giving my loved ones the greeting that I feel in my heart for them; not just a passive hello. Giving longer hugs, putting my phone down and paying attention; to name a few.

Inspired by a beautiful quote: Don’t ever stray away from yourself to get closer to someone else - (author unknown); I realized that I had changed for some friends and not for the better. I had done so by not saying the words that needed to be said, and by not drawing the appropriate boundaries (for some). I promised myself to be authentic.

In Aspire this year, we worked a lot on vulnerability and I came to realize that not everyone I meet should be privy to my deepest thoughts and dreams. Kindness is inclusive, but that means different things for different people. I want my closest friends to have depth, to be caring and to be able to talk about things, deeply.

I learned to ask, “What would love do here?” Sometimes love would divulge & share, sometimes love would give a hug, sometimes love would let go.

I had a friend whose God obviously thought I was going to hell and she was always praying for me (many times right to my face). Luckily, I had another friend that said, “That is not okay, and if her God thinks you are going to hell, you should say, buh-bye”. So I let go.

I stopped Facebooking and texting so much. I picked up the phone. I sent a card. I set up a date. I created more space for true friendship to grow and prosper.

I took a serious look at things I wanted to stop doing, continue doing and start doing.

Some things that made the stop doing list: selling 31 (still love the product), scheduling things so close together, watching television, putting time & effort into relationships that are one sided, looking at my phone when other people are around.

Some things that made the continue doing list: improving on the piano, my health initiatives (running, strength, yoga, eating the right things), massages, pedicures, chiro adjustments, Aspire, college classes, gratitude journal and self-improvement.

Some things that made the start doing list: always buying quality, reading more, being present, pausing to make space, asking more questions, being a better listener, letting go of things that don’t make me better and decluttering.

As things got rolling at the end of this year, I started to look forward to next year. I celebrated the winter solstice wholeheartedly as just the beginning of bringing back the light.

My annual theme in 2016 is Renewal. I have already started…

•   I got a tattoo; a spirit bear.
•   I had new pics taken for my social media & professional sites.
•   I strayed away from a Covey planner for the first time in over twenty years and went with The Happiness Planner instead.
•   I bought a new yoga mat.
•   I added another person to my care team (Dr. Mike)
•   I started my own, (unfinished – in progress) list of commandments(for lack of a better word):

·         I shall pay for quality

·         I shall convey proper heartfelt greetings

·         I shall practice presence especially with living beings

·         I shall practice, play and make progress on the piano

·         I shall make healthy decisions daily (food, exercise, rest, and rejuvenation)

·         I shall be a gentle & graceful human by listening and seeking to understand other humans

·         I shall speak my truth with strength and kindness but remain open to all viewpoints

·         I shall brand myself beautiful in every way (my clothes, my space, my words, my writing)

·         I shall infuse love and care into key relationships with my beloveds

A few more thoughts before I go, starting with a quote by Alan W. Watts:

“No one imagines that a symphony is supposed to improve as it goes along, or that the whole object of playing is to reach the finale. The point of music is discovered in every moment of playing and listening to it. It is the same, I feel, with the greater part of our lives, and if we are unduly absorbed in improving them we may forget altogether to live them.”

This quote speaks to my soul and reminds me to enjoy the journey. It reminds me to take time to rest and to just be.

I would like to wish everyone peace, love and light.

Love, Brenda